Everyone loves dinosaurs but ask yourself this, how much do you really know about our prehistoric pals? These are creatures with hopes, desires, and dare I say hobbies? Yep. That’s right, these famous screen dinosaurs have, at one point or another, been single and ready to mingle. The ones of age that are. What better way to learn about these fossil friends than by peeping at their dating profiles? So, without further adieu, let’s check out famous screen dinosaurs and their dating profiles.
Tyrannosaurus Rex – Sexy Rexy (Jurassic Park)
- 18ft / 7 tons
- Hobbies – Ping Pong, knitting, hunting and looking damn good.
- Likes – Scared, grounded mammals, roaring and Jeff Goldblum Films.
- Dislikes -Islands, out of ground pools, vegans, Wisconsin and snow days.
- Perfect Date – We would first share a goat in the rain followed by a romantic jeep chase and then wrap up the evening with some good-natured and hopefully harmonic roaring.
Velociraptor – Blue (Jurassic World)
- 7ft/ 180lbs
- Hobbies – Hanging with his posse, long jumping and clubbing.
- Likes – Hide and seek, speed sports, barbecues and the card game Uno.
- Dislikes – The French New-Wave, artichokes and the Los Angeles Lakers post-Magic Johnson.
- Perfect Date – We’d start with a brisk run in the tall grass, followed by an amuse-bouche of game warden and then, lastly, we’ll meet up with my friends for some dubstep night club action. Then we’ll see where the night takes us, which I hope is a White Castle.
Apatosaurus – Arlo (The Good Dinosaur)
- 55ft Long
- Hobbies – Fear, reluctant nature pursuits, cattle rustling, and dog training.
- Likes – Feral young humans, the art of Thomas Kincade (the painter of light) and worrying.
- Dislikes – Falling short of expectations, white water rafting, and bullies.
- Perfect Date – Arlo is too young to date but if you’d like to schedule a play date, please contact his mom.
Indominus Rex – Theodore Rex II (Jurassic World)
- 20ft/ 8 tons
- Hobbies – Getting “swoll” at the gym with the guys, Crushing brews with the guys, picking up lady Rex’s with the guys. Guys.
- Likes – Camouflage, ‘Roids, Michael Bay movies, Pantera and the comic stylings of Bea Arthur.
- Dislikes – Nerds, Chess, People trying to take away my Vape pen and chicks that don’t dig my ripped abs.
- Perfect date – First we will pound out some serious reps at the gym, followed by a steam with the guys where you can listen to us go on about our sweet bods, after which we will slam some Jaeger bombs and hopefully, to wrap up the night, partake in some heavy petting, with your consent of course. Me Too and all.
Pterodactyl – Dave (Jurassic Park 3)
- Hobbies – Ouija boards, seances, collecting vintage Bauhaus records.
- Likes – Aside from Bauhaus, Joy Division, lurking, David Bowie in the Howling and Little Debbie snacks.
- Dislikes – Sunshine, three-piece suits, any colors except black and Mondays.
- Perfect date – Go to a goth club. Stay late.
Brontosaurus – Littlefoot (The Land Before Time)
- Hobbies – Playing with his friends, having adventures, and spreading good times.
- Likes – Smiles, friendship, overcoming obstacles and pudding.
- Dislikes – Rubix cubes, getting lost, mushrooms on pizza and anything macho.
- Perfect date – Littlefoot is 8 so he won’t be dating anytime soon. His group of friends is generally acceptable to new dinos so don’t hesitate to stop on by.
Triceratops – Deborah (Jurassic World – Battle of Big Rock)
- 30ft/ 7tons
- Hobbies – Jazzersize (It’s making a comeback), cooking, crossword puzzles, and pick-up street hockey.
- Likes – Kids, Corporate finance, family game nights and my sister’s house, Shakespeare sonnets, fresh juice margaritas and binging prestige television.
- Dislikes – Swearing, pineapple upside-down cake, mice, reggae music, sharp teeth, and belly rubs.
- Perfect date – I want to meet Mr. Right, not Mr. Right now. That being said, I’m a simple lady with simple pleasures. I say we meet up for a cocktail and see where the night takes us. As long as there’s a good conversation to be had, it won’t matter where we end up.
Stegosaurus – Daisy (Jurassic Park – Lost world)
- 30ft/ 6800 pounds
- Hobbies – Softball, home brewing, camping, amnesty international.
- Likes – Kombucha, the US women’s soccer team, books, Georgia O’Keefe and eye contact.
- Dislikes – Text messages, people who do know themselves, Saw movies, leather goods, and McDonald’s.
- Perfect Date – I say we take off our shoes and feel Mother Earth beneath our feet, while we enjoy some organic red wine. Let’s feel the sun on our faces, the wind in our hair, and embrace the power of our auras while having more organic red wine. Later, we’ll dance by the light of our campfire, underneath the power of the mystery that is the celestial bodies and, of course, continue to drink the rest of our organic red wine.